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Feeling Beaten Down in a Relationship?

HUFFPOST February 10, 2022 3:54PM |RELATIONSHIPS|”7 Phrases Emotionally Abusive Partners Use To Control Their Relationships” By Kelsey Borresen.

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Emotional abuse can be hard to identify for the recipient or the onlooker but behaviors take the form of “gaslighting, criticizing, insulting, belittling, blaming, threatening, isolating and withholding affection or money…” These tactics can “wear down [a] partner’s self-confidence and independence [until] the perpetrator [gains] and [sustains] power and control in the relationship.” Like other forms of abuse things may start out seemingly well but abusers start out by grooming, by being charming, giving “gifts and affection.” The setting can eventually escalate to becoming violent.

What are common phrases used by abusive partners?

“You’re too sensitive”

“You’re impossible to please”

“Your friends don’t have your back like I do”

“Why are you making such a big deal out of this?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Everyone thinks you’re crazy”

“My ex was so much better than you”

“What should you do if your partner makes these kinds of comments?”

There’s no single answer but best, as a start, is to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 “where advocates can provide guidance tailored to your specific situation.”

Gotta trust your gut knowing that in abusive relationships it may be more difficult to “tap into what your intuition” is telling you. Know your soft spots, for example “if it’s easy for you to feel guilty” understand that your “abuser will exploit your good nature.” Sadly, trying to “convince your partner to see your side is probably a waste of time.” When you are feeling put on the spot and feeling defensive “try to disengage from the conversation.” Finally, use support systems including the National Dating Abuse Helpline’ 1-866-331-9474 or “text ‘loveis’ to 22522.”


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