Time February 28/March 7, 2022 pp30 |THE VIEW Q&A|”The regrettable rise of the ‘no regrets’ philosophy” by Belinda Luscombe
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Summary by 2244
This is a Q&A of Daniel Pink the author of a new book The Power of Regret:How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward
This is an excerpt of that interview
Q:”Why write a book on regret?”
Pink feels that the “don’t look back” mentality being propagated now for a long time is all wrong. He admits that he wouldn’t have had such a drive to write a book on regret early in life “but in my 50s it felt kind of inevitable.” A mistake is one thing and the emotion we feel because “it hurts for a reason” is another. “If we do not understand this emotion, then we are leaving its capability on the table.”
Q:”You write about four core categories of regret: foundation regrets, boldness regrets, moral regrets, and connection regrets. Can you explain the differences?”
Foundation regrets-finances, health, “about studying in school and university”
Boldness regrets-”if I’d taken the chance”
Moral regrets-complicated but include regrets about “bullying and infidelity”.
Connection regrets-”are about losing touch with somebody because of a schism?” According to Pink these are often “undramatic” coming apart in a relationship-a slow drift. Ultimately the parties are reluctant to reach out again possibly because they feel “it’s going to feel awkward” and because they may wrongly think “the other side’s not going to care.”
Q: “Which is the largest category?”
Connection.
Moral being the smallest
Dealing with regret Pink suggests “you confess, you repent, you make amends, and you live differently.” Interestingly these steps are supported by science and by many religious faiths-a good thing versus believing we shouldn’t look back and that we should just ignore those negative feelings.